Food, shelter, and clothing are bases in our lives. It goes without saying that some people are extravagant in dress and some in food. It’s up to people. When I was young in Korea, many people had so much trouble to earn their daily rice because the Korean War just finished several years ago from that time. My fellow country members lusted after a bowl of boiled rice. They were extremely poor. They were dying with hunger. Actually, some people died of hunger. When they met neighbors on the street in the morning, they used to ask, “Have you had breakfast?” instead of “Good morning!” A bowl of hot boiled rice and kimchi on the table was a wonderful hospitality when they visited another house. For this reason, people, who are in my parents’ generations even my forties, consider taking three meals a day as the most important thing for human being. Therefore, food shopping is the most serious part for me through my everyday life since I lived in America for over two years.
A housewife, who just came to America from another country and began to live as an immigrant, undoubtedly feels embarrassed when she is about to do house chores. If she doesn’t get a driver’s license yet, absolutely she cannot but admit her lack of ability. At least I did. When I wanted to do something, I realized that many things seemed to be beyond my capacity even grocery shopping. Above all, the distance between shopping mall and residential area made me dizzy because it was very far. I couldn’t avoid asking my husband’s help for a ride until I got a driver’s license. My husband also seemed to be perplexed by his new extra job, food shopping. When I was in Korea, food shopping was thoroughly the women’s parts. Men’s tasks were just eating. So, I had to go shopping by myself especially food shopping because I was a full-time housewife. After I cooked with great efforts, my husband ate food and just valued my cooking skill at the table. Both of us took each part for granted. Of course young generations are different now. They are doing in more western ways through their routine days even the house chores. By increasing dual–income families, the share of house chores between husband and wife is made a social issue. Therefore, taking care of house chores is not just a woman’s part any more. Anyway, my husband, a typical selfish Korean man, was supposed to go food shopping with me since we lived here. What a surprised thing likes a bolt from the blue!
Korean Traditional Market(outdoor)
In Korea, when we find some necessary seasoning or stuffs we don’t have, we can go to the market right away and buy them easily even while we are cooking. A lot of big and small marts are around the residential areas, so we can go there anytime even though we don’t have a ride. We can reach to the outdoor market or fish market by walking and choose fresh stuffs even raw fish that gives us satisfactory for healthy food. When I was living in Korea, I liked going to the outdoor market to feel merchants’ bravery for their lives and their hopes for another tomorrow. So, whenever I felt struggled, I used to go there. When I was on the way home from the market, I felt that I was infected “Hope Virus” from merchants. Their shouts gave me power and bravery. I loved street cries. Also, that place was a good educational field for my children. I used to bring them to the outdoor market, and taught them every kind of vegetables, fish, meats and the way of life. That is still good and precious memories for me.
In the U.S., only a few brands of large-sized food markets except liquor stores and small Mexican markets seem to monopolize commercial power, like Costco, Food 4 Less, Albertson, Vons, Ralphs... etc. When I go to some places, I see a lot of shopping malls where just a few familiar signboards are shown. Therefore, if I don’t pay attention to the name of the streets, sometimes I mistake a mall for another mall. That’s interesting. Also a huge refrigerator seems to be required in the U.S.. When I go to the food market, I saw many people are carrying the carts, which are piled up mountain-high with food cans and precooked food boxes and soft drink cans. I also buy lots of food because I can’t go to the market frequently. Many fat-shaped bottles for juice and milk made us buy such a huge refrigerator. In addition to the above facts, there are many interesting things in here. The long expiry of the term on the labels of food, too much greasy precooked food, lots of instant food that only need a microwave, every kind of frozen seafood instead of raw seafood, ugly American pears, too many brands on same kinds of food that make us troublesome with choosing only one, a lot of dressing, no wet trash after cooking, a lot of disposable plates, spoons, forks and knives, and so on… I think man can live without a wife in this country. He needs just money. In Korea, it’s so hard to live for a man without his wife because he is supposed to work a lot if he wants to eat a meal. Very complicated process on cooking Korean food makes a single-man sick and tired of doing beforehand.
In conclusion, every American husband seems to be very responsible for sharing housework with his wife. I always see many American men follow women as they push the cart faithfully in the every kind of market, namely food markets, department stores, even laundry. Besides, while they are helping their wives with doing housework, they say, “I love you,” again and again like a parrot. When I was young, I felt very much flattered by that comment, but now I feel envious of American women, who can hear such a sweet comment from their husbands frequently. After getting married, Korean women rarely hear that sweet word all their lives. Most of the Korean men are very stubborn, so if the man boasts of his children or wife in front of people, he is called as a dull fellow. I think that is maybe Asian culture. Anyway, Korean men make efforts to reign over women like kings of their own will or another person’s will even if Korean women are not obedient to them like servants any more in these days. Their appearances that strain to keep their powers to control their wives look pitiful. I would like to make an advice to them, “ Please be honest of your feeling. Loving your wife and children is not a shame! “ Lately, I always say to my 12-year-old daughter, “Please marry an American man when you are grown up if you want to live happily.”
My husband and I are getting used to living in America day by day just like other American people. If necessary, my husband is ready to go food shopping with me and follow me as he pushes the cart whether he wants to do or not. Surely he puts some of his favorite foods into the cart furtively, but I pretend not to recognize his behavior in return for his help and kindness to me. Sometimes I see my husband misses his past days when he reigned over me like a king in Korea. He often says to me that his life in America seems thoroughly monotonous and pitiful as if he had been in the army when he was young. At that time, I want to say to him firmly, “WHEN IN ROME, DO AS THE ROMAN DO. WHAT MUST BE MUST BE!” (2004)
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